A Name

I mentioned before that I had thought a lot about a name for this blog.  I probably would have started it two months ago, but I didn't like any of the names that came to my mind.  I wanted something catchy, but to the point.  I wanted it to be something people would remember.  I wanted it to make an impact at first impression.  It needed to explain a lot in a few simple words.  Things I considered were "Unexpected Motherhood", "Definition of Motherhood", and "To Parenthood and Beyond" (yes this came from a Toy Story reference).  None of these names summarized my feelings, and well, they're pretty corny.  How do I say something in a few short words, that I am struggling to say with unlimited words?

I took our son to my grandparents yesterday so I could get my house clean. That was the first time I have done anything like that.  Other than work, a couple date nights, and one whole day of not being able to open my eyes (long story), he has been with me.  I have said to myself several times, "my house is a mess but my kid is super happy."  I'll say it while I take a deep breathe, as reassurance that it is ok my house is a mess.   And it is, because he is more important.   I also came across a poem one day, and it stuck with me...

So true.  On the rare occasion I do get a few extra minutes to get some stuff done, all I can do is spin around in circles thinking about everything I need to do.  By the time I stop spinning, my extra time is up.  But that's not the kind of stuff I'm talking about when I talk about this all being harder than I expected.  I expected that stuff to be hard.  The physical part is exhausting sometimes, but manageable.  

I'm talking about the asking for help part.  Everyone tells you not to be afraid to ask for help after you have had a baby.  So why don't we?  The problem is by help, they mean them keeping your child for a while so you can get other stuff done.  I don't want other people to keep my child.  It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that...well...I want someone to do everything else, so I can spend every waking minute gawking over this amazing little person that my husband and I have created.  Besides, what if they don't feed him the right amount at the right time, or what if they don't know the difference between a hurt cry and a tired cry, or what if they get frustrated with him?  I have several sitters lined up for when we need one.  Most of them would do it for free.  But I'm already away from him 40+ hours a week with work, there is no way I am lightly sparing any of my mommy baby time.  So yesterday, I cleaned my heart out.  I was not going to let one minute away from my precious baby go to waste.  Did I get a lot done?  Yes.  Did it feel good?  Felt great.  Will I do it again? Maybe in seven months or so.  

Back to the name.  I had decided I would post an introduction to the blog and call it "I Need a Name".  I would share it with friends and family, and see what they suggested.  So I sat down at my computer and went on to learn how to start the blog.  I quickly figured out that idea was not going to work.  I needed to create a domain, and I wanted the domain to contain the title.  So I called my husband in the room.  I had told him my ideas and why I wanted to start a blog earlier in the day, so he already knew the point I was trying to get across.  We brainstormed through a few things like "Where is my manual", "Power of the Tiny Humans", and "Upside Down Mommy" (I really liked this one, but I didn't want people to think I'm crazy.  I may be crazy, but I still don't want people to think it).  As you can see, the titles had more of a humorous take when we were brainstorming together.  That's pretty much how we roll.  And then he said it.  And I loved it.

For those that don't know, we are car people.  We also have a lot of car people friends.  We are both in agreement we will train our son to be a famous race car driver so we can retire early (Formula 1, not nascar.  Just so there isn't any confusion). There is an internet joke that goes around.  It uses funny phrases and situations to highlight how awesome race cars are.  

That is why when he said the title I immediately knew it was perfect.  Somewhat humorous, but to the point and very matter of fact. 

Being the type of person I am, I had to make sure the title would make sense.  So I googled the definition of motherhood...

the kinship relation between an offspring and the mother

 ...and then I googled the definition of kinship...

Blood relationship.

A sharing of characteristics or origins.

THAT'S IT?  Motherhood is defined as the blood relationship between my son and I, and the sharing of our genes?  Who writes this stuff??  Are they a mother?  Any mother knows there is so much more than the sharing of blood and genes.  What about the love?  So I have come up with a much more appropriate definition of motherhood.  

A euphoric state that makes a woman be able to handle

physical and emotional situations which would otherwise be impossible.

An overwhelming mixture of nurturing, joy, happiness, worry, guilt and many

other emotions that take over a woman's spirit after she has a child.  

Because motherhood.