Spare the rod, spoil the child

I feel like we are at a crucial point in adjusting Solomon's behavior as a toddler.  And it's hard.  Like everything else, so not sure why I expected this to be easy.  It snuck up on me.  This is my baby...my little baby.  I don't want to tell him no, or smack his hands, or make him cry because he's not getting what he wants.  So how do I keep my kid from becoming a brat?  How do I determine enough is enough?

Most of my life I thought the verse in this title meant literally, to put the rod away and spoil your child. Sometime during my adulthood i found out the true meaning...

"Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
    but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."  Proverbs 13:24

Before I gave birth to Solomon, I was a solid advocate for spanking.  I would say things like, "that's what is wrong with kids today", and "they have to know you are the boss".  Not that easy.  When we have to tell Solomon no, he gets the most pitiful look I have ever seen!  

Just look at that poor little face.  :(  How could I ever hurt his feelings???

But I have to.  I have to be strong and I have to be consistent.  If I don't I will pay immensely.  That doesn't mean it's easy. And what if I'm too hard on him?  I don't want to be a mean mommy!  And what if its already too late?  What if he is already ruined?  Oh well no point in trying, I should just continue to spoil him rotten, right?

So how do I know what is right?  The Internet tells me I should be an "attachment parent" that reasons with my one year old.  Then it also tells me I should leave my sweet innocent baby in a room to cry as hard as he possibly can, alone, in the dark, for an undetermined amount of time.  And if I do the attachment parenting I will have a 17 year old that doesn't wipe his own butt, but if I do the latter I will have a 17 year old that hates me so much he'll paint pictures about it!  Where is the happy medium?  How much discipline is good discipline, and how much is too much?  And where is my freaking owners manual for goodness sake?!?

By the way...sorry for the long delay between posts.  Apparently having a new toddler really is as exhausting,if not more exhausting, than having a newborn.  One of my friends put it best when she told me, "it's just a whole new kind of exhaustion".

Because motherhood.